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The fastest way to be put on KP is to complain about the food.Army food is always a source of humor...since nobody can cry and vomit forever.The idea of an Army is to train tough men to kill. The Department of War won every war it fought. Today, the idea is to train ladies and gentlemen to do it. Is it any wonder the Department of Defense has never won a war? (Duh?)If the enemy is in range, so are you!Friendly fire isn't.Military intelligence is a contradicory termWhenever your in a foxhole it always happens to be with someone braver than yourself.The artillery always falls short of the target and the air support always overshoots the target.Please keep in mind, your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder.When does the enemy attack? whenever your not ready.Who is always the first person to get shot? the medic.The delay of your close air support is directly proportional to the size of the enemy mortar. (submitted by AndreAtlan)It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to. ’ Nobody spoke. The guy shrugged his shoulders, reached out across the table and flipped my notebook open. He slid it towards himself and scrawled what looked to be an address, upside down on the first page, above a brief bio I had been outlining on Edgar Degas. ‘Tomorrow night, 9 o’clock,’ he grinned. ‘Party. Come, have a laugh and we’ll forget about today.’ I looked at Andrea inquiringly. She was still frowning but her face looked a little softer, more relaxed. ‘It’ll be fun,’ he promised. ‘Okay,’ I agreed, on a whim. Tomorrow was Friday and I didn’t have plans yet. I love house parties, and the guy was really cute when he smiled. Andrea nodded, ‘alright, we’ll come to your party. But you don’t breathe a word to anyone about what you just saw. And…’ she added, ‘you keep your hands to yourself until you get permission. If you get permission.’ She flashed him one of her amazing smiles and the tension was broken. ‘Tomorrow, 9 o’clock,’ he repeated, grinning. ‘See you there.’ With that.
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